There’s Something About Her

It is Anniversary Eve and I’m absolutely clueless about where to go with this. Every possible way of conveying my admiration for her has been exhausted in person. It just comes off as especially redundant in written form. Maybe some novel insight into our relationship will come of this, maybe not. But above all, my chief aim for any of my entries is to convey my complete admiration and love for every aspect of her.

As we drew closer to the one year mark, I found myself reflecting on a lot of the changes I have gone through as a result of being in this relationship with you. I feel that I have evolved so much simply from witnessing the example you set for your daughter as well as your students. One of the central purposes of being a good person is to inspire good qualities in other people and I am grateful to say that the life you lead has added new dimensions to my altruistic attitude. I feel like I’m more inclined to seek simple ways to bring a little light to people’s lives on a daily basis now. Previously I had become absorbed with ways to help people on a larger scale and would subsequently become cynical about the hopelessness in achieving meaningful change on such a large scale. While that definitely still matters, you have a more healthy approach to altruistic behavior that stipulates that one must do what they can in the here and now regardless of the bleakness that life seems to offer at times. You don’t indulge my more cynical impulses and that is a reflection of your pure sensibilities that I truly admire.

But don’t get me wrong to say that this relationship has been effective at smoothing out some of my rough edges may be slightly on point but it’s a drastic oversimplification of what this relationship is symbolic of for me personally. But to avoid diving into the realm of pretentiousness I will just say that we are not much different from anyone else when examined individually. I’m a 25 year old with an extreme passion for hip hop, movies and writing while she’s a passionate teacher, excellent mother with a very solid goal to help Spanish speaking populations. Our worlds couldn’t be more disconnected but whatever the fuck this, it seems to make sense. I don’t quite know why there’s just a lot to her and I’m glad that we click the way we do so effortlessly.

I love you Kia, Happy anniversary.

Organically Us...One Year Later...

There’s this guy I know and I must say, he’s incredible. The smile on my face has been there since our very humble beginnings. I can remember our first conversation quite vividly as if it happened yesterday. Was it 6 hours? it could have been longer. I just know that we were both hating life at work later that day. Only 2 hours of sleep because we just couldn’t hang up the phone. But oh how marvelous our conversation was, full of nothing and yet we covered everything under the sun. It wasn’t the typical “getting to you know” dialogue either, it was more along the lines of “I believe we all live in ‘The Matrix.’” followed by “Oh really? Well, uh…I like shoes, a lot.” Lol. Randomosity was highly prevalent from the very beginning. And if I’m not mistaken, just three days later we spent 8 hours (an overnight shift) in Oovoo video chatting and creating “columns” where we’d add qualities of each other. And it was also on that night that you ask me on our first date…for July 19, 2012 to see The Dark Knight Rises. I said yes, not because I cared to see the movie, but because you saw yourself hanging out with me 9 months in the future. 

I fell in love you and all of your quirks because they somehow made sense coming from you. Coming from anyone else, I’d write him off as crazy and uninteresting, but with you, you’re so comfortable in your own skin, how could I not be comfortable with you as well? I love where our relationship has gone since then, one year later we’re just as happy and in love like we were back then. I smile just as hard when my phone rings just as I did last year. My heart is still “school girl giddy” over you just as it was back then. A quick reflection over what has come from our connection…let’s reminisce:

·        We have profound, philosophical conversations about the simplest of concepts. “Who washes the dishes for the food network stars?” Lol.

·        We still write each other love letters and leave each other cute little notes on the fridge just to say what’s on our minds.

·        We still manage to find at least an hour (usually more) to spend talking to each other on the phone on the night’s we can’t be together.

·        You still entertain my random questions and TRY to validate them with some type of answer just to appease me.

·        We still tell each other “bed time stories” on occasion to fall asleep to.

·        I’m pretty sure we still have “who can use figurative language better?” competitions.

·        We still miss each other immediately after we’re apart.

·        Nia has fallen in love with you just as much as I have. She’s probably more ready for you to marry me than you are. *wink*

·        We have been integrated pretty successfully into each other’s families.

The list goes on and on, but for “only” one year together, that’s a lot to have accomplished. I can only imagine what else is in store for us. So happy “one year but the best year of romance I’ve ever had” anniversary Cuddle Bear. My heart has never known such joy until I met you.  Our love is beyond genuine, it’s all naturally felt and expressed.

Simply put, our love is organically and innately established. I love you.

Happy Birthday My Platypus!

Babe's Electronic Birthday Greeting...

This greeting personalized with Smilebox

I Love You Today Because...

We have something called the "I love you today because..." statement. It's not something we give every day, but only when it crosses our mind. If he does something that just sparks the "Damn, I love him" thought, I disclose the reasoning behind it and he does the same. It's a very simple and endearing way to stay interested in each other because it's always not only great to know that you're loved but why you're loved as well. Little does my Perry know, for the past few days I’ve racked up plenty of these, harboring my urges to blurt my random reasons for loving him, specifically for this post. You see, tomorrow is Perry’s birthday. He’ll be 25 years old and I’ve been wondering how to express just how Nia and I love him on his special day. So I saved all of my “I love you today because” statements to compile this special list of all of the things that make him wonderful and lovable.

Perry, I love you today, your 25^th birthday, because…

·         Being loved by you is magical, theatrical and fantastically amazing. There is never a dull moment when I'm in your presence. Simple things are all we need to be content with each other. Our moments are special just because we create them with each other.

·         You're so dedicated to what you're passionate about in life. Whether it's your novels, your graduate coursework or our relationship, you always give 100% of yourself because they're what mean the most to you.

·         You're so good with Nia. I don't think I thank you enough for what you do for her and with her. She really does love you, which goes to show how good of heart you have. You love her as your own and let her know just how special she is just by being so active and present in her life. Thank you.

·         Your intellect is incomparable. You have this ability to express yourself so eloquently, with the most colorful vocabulary I've ever known a man to have. Your mind is able to comprehend the most complex of thoughts and your creativity goes beyond the typical human mind.

·         Your affection is natural and from the soul. Every kiss, caress or glance sends the message of how much you love me. You're able to tell me how much you love me without even saying a word. Your actions precede your words to the point where they don't even need to be said.

·         You have this skillful way in which you go about life, so meticulous and thoughtful. You never go into something without having thought about all of the possible outcomes, obstacles and results. You're actually quite organized in that sense; to a certain extent, you know where you want your heart, soul and physical being to end up in life with a unique way of getting there.

·         You're a man of mystery to most, but for me, you're transparent. I can see your heart, your intentions, your motivation, so clearly. You’re open with how you feel about everything when you’re with me and I’m glad that the trust and comfort are there for us to make this a lasting relationship.

Happy birthday Perry My Platypus. This past (almost) a year with you has been the most enchanting, reflective and heart opening I ever could have experienced having with a man and I want the whole world to know just how remarkable you are. You’re awe-inspiring, influential and brilliant, I hope you have a day even a fraction of that today, I love you, now, tomorrow and always.

Love,

Kia (and Nia)

When I Grow Up...

When I was a little girl I remember looking up to my parents thinking “I want that.” By “that” I meant the relationship I saw taking place between them. I could see just by how they looked at each other that the love they shared was real and that they would never leave each other’s side. I knew even way back then that I wanted to be loved just as my mother was; I wanted to be the friend and companion that my husband deserved. As I grew up, the more I reflected on my love life, the more I realized that I was looking for what they have and that’s why I was never happy. I never quite got it right in love, I had never met a man who was so doting over me like my father is to my mom. I had never found a man who I was so unconditionally and unconventionally in love with, willing to conquer all things to go to him and stay with him, just like my mother is for my father.  For the past 25 years I’ve watched my parents interact and as I matured I’ve created a list of what I knew my relationship would need to be like to keep me in it:

·         Love was the glue that made it all work, but it’s even more important to LIKE the one you’re with. You don’t need to have every interest in common to be happy, but the ones that mean the most need to be accepted and embraced by your partner regardless of their attitude toward it.

·         Communication had to be open and honest, no matter the message or emotions it may spark. For a relationship to work, talk through your grievances until your conscious is completely clear, hold nothing back because it may be brought up later and become an even bigger issue.

·         Make sure you discuss your major desires in life; if they don’t intertwine, you won’t make it. If you want children and your partner doesn’t, you can’t force it, you can’t change people, they can only change themselves.

·         Support is NON-NEGOTIABLE! No matter how small or irrelevant the passion, never undermine it, it means more to your partner than you probably know and shunning it can ruin your connection forever.

·         It’s okay to be affectionate. You never know what a simple caress of the hand or a kiss as you pass through a room can do for the one you love, or even for yourself.

·         Date each other no matter how long you’ve been together. Take time out to be together, alone, doing something you both enjoy and reflecting on after the night is over, it keeps you young.

The list could go on but just from observation of my parents I knew that these were the bare minimum of what I’d need in a forever type love. Then Perry came along, the man who gives me all of that and more. He walks into a room and blows me a kiss. He asks me out on dates that are as simple as a trip to the movies, but the conversations we have after the movie are usually the best part of the date. We talk. Like REALLY talk. We can talk through any situation, be it our own or someone else’s. He writes me love songs and kisses me goodnight. He sends me “I miss you” texts randomly during the day. He loves Nia like his own, always making sure he makes her as happy as he makes me. He’s a beautiful man and I can honestly say that for once in my adult life, I’m secure and satisfied with him. My puzzle, although complex, is complete because of him. I’d go to the end of the Earth to make sure he was okay and not think twice about it. I respect his decisions, his thoughts, his heart, and I think that’s what matters the most. No matter the angle that I look at the future, he’s in it, and I’m smiling. I can only pray that this is the love I wanted as I child, the love that my parents raised me to desire for myself, because I don’t want to be anywhere but with him. 

Looking ahead, our future is clear...

Climbing the Ladder

Today is a big day in the Platypus household. Babe has a job interview for a position he could TOTALLY rock! Yes, he has a job now, but it sucks, immensely. He's miserable and comes home unhappy every day without hail. This is completely unacceptable for me. I need my man to enjoy what he does for a living and working in a place that's conducive to productivity and efficiency, neither of which is current place of employment has. So I've been like his little secretary; being that I'm on summer break for another month and he's the one working 8 hours a day, teaching (yes, he's a teacher who gets no summer break, strike one against his employer), I'm on the job hunt for him. I've managed to find some pretty decent job vacancies with persistent outreach. He knows I'm the job hunt pro, I mean, I've taught for 3 years in 3 different school districts, I know all about finding jobs and wooing employers in the education business.

 So I've put together an awesome resume and cover letter for him and have been emailing and applying on his behalf like crazy. It's finally beginning to pay off, he has an interview this afternoon to be a violence prevention specialist (fancy title huh?!). And he's been getting phone calls and voice-mails more frequently that we're now int he process of returning because of course he's working when they call. That's the hardest part of it all, I can't answer the phone calls for him, just the email responses, and by the time he gets off work and is able to return their calls, they're unable available and he's stuck leaving a message in the hopes they the game of phone tag will end soon. But I am very hopeful for the interview he has today; his job has pretty much set him up to be successful at violence prevention, he does it everyday in his classroom of misfits. They'll love him and his courteous mannerisms and professional tone. They better, hehe. He woke up extra early this morning to head back to his folks' place to get his clothes ready. I even got up with him and made him breakfast, two scrambled eggs and bacon, the breakfast of CHAMPIONS and got his work things ready for him to go. I hate when he has to leave me in the morning not knowing when he'll be back (we don't live together you know), I miss him as soon as I begin to close the door *sniff*.

Anyway, I hope he knocks them dead and lands this gig because it'll definitely help him climb the professional ladder of mental health and youth counseling. He's really good at connecting with young men and neutralizing heightened situations between them, he's quite respected by the young folk ^_^. I can't wait to get the full update as to how it goes, it's not until 4:30 so I've got a while of anxiety to conquer until I hear about it. The only thing is, if he gets this job, he'll be working about 40 minutes in the opposite direction of where he is working now, which makes him about an hour and half offset from where I live, which translates to fewer contact days during the week. But I told him, he's at work more than he's in my presence so his professional is just as important, if not more important than the happiness of spending time together, I'm willing to sacrifice some us time for that. But that's for another blog WHEN he lands the job. More details to come...

Absence...

Our most recent "episodes" in our notebook have been addressing how much we dislike having to schedule time with one another because of our personal agendas getting in the way. It (the notebook) really is a great way to cope with our situation sometimes. You would think living less than an hour apart from each other we'd see each other a little more, but twice a week is all we can salvage most of the time. And it sucks. Whoever said "absence makes the heart grow fonder" lied. Yes, it’s very rewarding to be reunited with one another after each stretch of time apart but that’s not what makes our “hearts fonder.” Absence for us is as simple as a trip to the kitchen or going to take a shower…those minutes apart are even miserable sad to say. So absence and fondness for us has a whole different meaning because I’m sure this isn’t what they meant when they stated that quote. 

So often I wish there were a way to see each other more, I hate missing him so much. I know, I know, you’re all saying, “Get a grip Kia. Live your life.” But I’ve done that. I’m at a point in my life where I’m finally ready to commit to someone else wholeheartedly, 100% with no backing down. And now that I’ve found someone I’m ready to “ride or die” for, we have to check our schedules first. I know it’s important to be patient, things will get better, but how do you cope with finally finding someone compatible and not being able to enjoy them the way you want, when you want? What do I do? I write, I sing, I clean, I do homework (gag), anything to get my mind off of the “absence.”

I could go out and try to have a social life, but every time I finally make a friend around here, they’re gone, relocated to another part of the world where we can no longer hang out. Spain, Japan, New York, back in Texas, just gone. I’m tired of losing good friends so I just stopped making them. I have one friend left here, I should really reach out to her more, but I can’t, and there’s a reason why (maybe in another blog I’ll address that issue).  Man this blog is getting random, am I even addressing the topic at hand anymore? I digress so easily, it’s ridiculous. Anyway, find what works for you in your time of need; I probably wasn’t of much help with this blog but that’s okay sometimes. It helps just to type away all of my thoughts so that it’s one less thing to carry around on my shoulders for the day. I guess my lesson here was (or was supposed to be), it’s okay to miss the one you love whether it’s for a few seconds, a few days, or a few weeks; just make sure that when you’re together you value EVERY moment as if you don’t know when you’ll see each other again, your heart will thank you for it.