I Can't Wait.

My one and only Perry J,

I’ll finally be back at home with you tomorrow and I can’t wait. This has been the longest 6 days of my life without you! I hope you had a productive week while I was away; mine was quite redundant. It was just up and down the highway to chill in a hospital room every day. But to see the smile on my dad’s face when we walked into his room was totally worth it. You could just tell he needed us there with him for him to feel alright.

He’s recovering quite well but Monday will be the true test. On Monday we will know if and when his feeding tubes can be removed and he’ll be able to swallow and digest properly. If the test doesn't give the expected results he’ll have to have another procedure done to assist in the loosening of that stomach muscle so that food can pass through his system. I really do hate to see him like them; having to leave the hospital each day this week without him coming with us was truly a hard thing to do.

 It was also quite the reflective week for me too in the sense that I honestly do believe that true love is real and necessary in life. To see my parents interact this week has been validation of this; soul mates exist and it’s possible to end up with your very own. I could see that they wanted each other to just be alright and happy and were willing to do whatever it took to ensure it. My mother is diligently doting upon dad making sure he has everything he needs to get his good health back;  my father is helping my mother stay strong and keeping her stress levels down because she needs to be well in order to help him get well. It truly is a beautiful thing to observe quite honestly.

After watching this all week long (and reflecting on how it looked when the roles were reversed during my mother’s own cancer recovery 10+ years ago), I can say that I know you and I would be the same way in this situation and any other that arises. After years of not knowing if it could happen, I do believe that I've found my soul mate in you and I love that I can say it without hesitation. I know that we would go to great lengths to ensure each other’s well-being and that our own personal happiness is contingent upon the happiness we see in each other. I love you PJ, we’re less than a day away from being back together, and although this time apart hurt me deeply because I was missing you, it’s opened up my eyes to what we are destined to be become and I can’t wait.

Love you.

There’s Something About Her

It is Anniversary Eve and I’m absolutely clueless about where to go with this. Every possible way of conveying my admiration for her has been exhausted in person. It just comes off as especially redundant in written form. Maybe some novel insight into our relationship will come of this, maybe not. But above all, my chief aim for any of my entries is to convey my complete admiration and love for every aspect of her.

As we drew closer to the one year mark, I found myself reflecting on a lot of the changes I have gone through as a result of being in this relationship with you. I feel that I have evolved so much simply from witnessing the example you set for your daughter as well as your students. One of the central purposes of being a good person is to inspire good qualities in other people and I am grateful to say that the life you lead has added new dimensions to my altruistic attitude. I feel like I’m more inclined to seek simple ways to bring a little light to people’s lives on a daily basis now. Previously I had become absorbed with ways to help people on a larger scale and would subsequently become cynical about the hopelessness in achieving meaningful change on such a large scale. While that definitely still matters, you have a more healthy approach to altruistic behavior that stipulates that one must do what they can in the here and now regardless of the bleakness that life seems to offer at times. You don’t indulge my more cynical impulses and that is a reflection of your pure sensibilities that I truly admire.

But don’t get me wrong to say that this relationship has been effective at smoothing out some of my rough edges may be slightly on point but it’s a drastic oversimplification of what this relationship is symbolic of for me personally. But to avoid diving into the realm of pretentiousness I will just say that we are not much different from anyone else when examined individually. I’m a 25 year old with an extreme passion for hip hop, movies and writing while she’s a passionate teacher, excellent mother with a very solid goal to help Spanish speaking populations. Our worlds couldn’t be more disconnected but whatever the fuck this, it seems to make sense. I don’t quite know why there’s just a lot to her and I’m glad that we click the way we do so effortlessly.

I love you Kia, Happy anniversary.

Organically Us...One Year Later...

There’s this guy I know and I must say, he’s incredible. The smile on my face has been there since our very humble beginnings. I can remember our first conversation quite vividly as if it happened yesterday. Was it 6 hours? it could have been longer. I just know that we were both hating life at work later that day. Only 2 hours of sleep because we just couldn’t hang up the phone. But oh how marvelous our conversation was, full of nothing and yet we covered everything under the sun. It wasn’t the typical “getting to you know” dialogue either, it was more along the lines of “I believe we all live in ‘The Matrix.’” followed by “Oh really? Well, uh…I like shoes, a lot.” Lol. Randomosity was highly prevalent from the very beginning. And if I’m not mistaken, just three days later we spent 8 hours (an overnight shift) in Oovoo video chatting and creating “columns” where we’d add qualities of each other. And it was also on that night that you ask me on our first date…for July 19, 2012 to see The Dark Knight Rises. I said yes, not because I cared to see the movie, but because you saw yourself hanging out with me 9 months in the future. 

I fell in love you and all of your quirks because they somehow made sense coming from you. Coming from anyone else, I’d write him off as crazy and uninteresting, but with you, you’re so comfortable in your own skin, how could I not be comfortable with you as well? I love where our relationship has gone since then, one year later we’re just as happy and in love like we were back then. I smile just as hard when my phone rings just as I did last year. My heart is still “school girl giddy” over you just as it was back then. A quick reflection over what has come from our connection…let’s reminisce:

·        We have profound, philosophical conversations about the simplest of concepts. “Who washes the dishes for the food network stars?” Lol.

·        We still write each other love letters and leave each other cute little notes on the fridge just to say what’s on our minds.

·        We still manage to find at least an hour (usually more) to spend talking to each other on the phone on the night’s we can’t be together.

·        You still entertain my random questions and TRY to validate them with some type of answer just to appease me.

·        We still tell each other “bed time stories” on occasion to fall asleep to.

·        I’m pretty sure we still have “who can use figurative language better?” competitions.

·        We still miss each other immediately after we’re apart.

·        Nia has fallen in love with you just as much as I have. She’s probably more ready for you to marry me than you are. *wink*

·        We have been integrated pretty successfully into each other’s families.

The list goes on and on, but for “only” one year together, that’s a lot to have accomplished. I can only imagine what else is in store for us. So happy “one year but the best year of romance I’ve ever had” anniversary Cuddle Bear. My heart has never known such joy until I met you.  Our love is beyond genuine, it’s all naturally felt and expressed.

Simply put, our love is organically and innately established. I love you.