Absence...

Our most recent "episodes" in our notebook have been addressing how much we dislike having to schedule time with one another because of our personal agendas getting in the way. It (the notebook) really is a great way to cope with our situation sometimes. You would think living less than an hour apart from each other we'd see each other a little more, but twice a week is all we can salvage most of the time. And it sucks. Whoever said "absence makes the heart grow fonder" lied. Yes, it’s very rewarding to be reunited with one another after each stretch of time apart but that’s not what makes our “hearts fonder.” Absence for us is as simple as a trip to the kitchen or going to take a shower…those minutes apart are even miserable sad to say. So absence and fondness for us has a whole different meaning because I’m sure this isn’t what they meant when they stated that quote. 

So often I wish there were a way to see each other more, I hate missing him so much. I know, I know, you’re all saying, “Get a grip Kia. Live your life.” But I’ve done that. I’m at a point in my life where I’m finally ready to commit to someone else wholeheartedly, 100% with no backing down. And now that I’ve found someone I’m ready to “ride or die” for, we have to check our schedules first. I know it’s important to be patient, things will get better, but how do you cope with finally finding someone compatible and not being able to enjoy them the way you want, when you want? What do I do? I write, I sing, I clean, I do homework (gag), anything to get my mind off of the “absence.”

I could go out and try to have a social life, but every time I finally make a friend around here, they’re gone, relocated to another part of the world where we can no longer hang out. Spain, Japan, New York, back in Texas, just gone. I’m tired of losing good friends so I just stopped making them. I have one friend left here, I should really reach out to her more, but I can’t, and there’s a reason why (maybe in another blog I’ll address that issue).  Man this blog is getting random, am I even addressing the topic at hand anymore? I digress so easily, it’s ridiculous. Anyway, find what works for you in your time of need; I probably wasn’t of much help with this blog but that’s okay sometimes. It helps just to type away all of my thoughts so that it’s one less thing to carry around on my shoulders for the day. I guess my lesson here was (or was supposed to be), it’s okay to miss the one you love whether it’s for a few seconds, a few days, or a few weeks; just make sure that when you’re together you value EVERY moment as if you don’t know when you’ll see each other again, your heart will thank you for it.